It’s a fact, women have to work harder than men in the workplace to get ahead, but outside of work women still have to work harder to believed.

I have a friend who married an abusive controlling man. When she met him he was full of charm, but very soon into their relationship he began undermining her, shutting her down when she expressed an opinion and cutting off her friends so she spent more time with him and his friends. See where I’m going here? It’s a classic Stockholm/marriage syndrome. I’ve spoken to many women over the years who have told me that’s how the abuse started in their relationship, isolation is the best way to indoctrinate - all the best despots know this.

Anyway, my friend had a child and tried to keep her marriage going the best she could under the oppressive circumstances. It wasn’t until he started pushing their child around she was able to summon the courage and leave. This is a story you’ve probably heard many times and tutted about the man’s bad behaviour. But what of the woman? You see, my friend complains she has barley been believed when she’s talked about her bullying thug of a husband. In fact several of her friends got angry with her for talking about it too much! She says it’s almost as isolating as being back in the marriage, sure people listen when she tries to explain, but they’re still friends with her ex. It’s like it never happened.

She Said Nobody Cares

No one has even given her a hug and said how terrible it must have been. Why? Is it because they don’t believe her? Or is it because they still see this charming smiling man around and think to themselves maybe she deserved it, or worse still maybe her child deserved it.

We have to start believing women more, we need to give battered women more support and stop being so suspicious.

There are plenty of thugs out there like my friend’s ex-husband and we need to treat them appropriately. They need to be held accountable for what they do to women and children. I wonder if the increase of women’s violence against men is something to do with the frustration women feel not being taken seriously. They, like my friend, need support and acknowledgement that what they went through was harrowing and unnecessary.

My friend often jokes she’s waiting to hear news of her ex-husband suffering a lingering painful death afflicted with an incurable disease. Many look at her as if she’s mad, but if you took her seriously you’d understand. Just listen, that’s all I ask.

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