I’m so weary of hearing millennials complain about us baby boomers. Recently in a local paper a millennial wailed, ‘This is all your fault!’. Really? I have a feeling this complaining is going to backfire one day, sooner or later their precious over-protected children are going to put them in their place. Here is how it’s going to go;

‘All I’ve ever heard from you is whinging - apparently you were entitled to a new house as soon as you finished school and if you couldn’t afford one you demanded the tax-payer build you one. ‘Why can’t everyone love each other?’ you shrieked as you campaigned for open borders letting in all and sundry.

Etched in my memory is the anguished scream when you learned Trump was going to be president. By the way, isn’t it time you eased off the tranquillisers?

‘My Whole Childhood Is On Facebook!’

‘When I was a child you packed me into your new (bought on 100% credit) SUV, strapping me in the backseat with a computer screen playing some mindless movie. I couldn’t see out the tinted windows so who knows where we went (did we actually go anywhere?), and when we filled up with petrol I had a bag of chips stuffed in my face - ‘healthy’ kumara chips. I was fed the latest trending food, organic bliss balls or whatever, in my lunchbox while I attended school wearing a ‘I’m LGBT’ T-shirt - when I eventually announced I was happily hetro your look of disappointment was palatable.

Talking of school the only time I ever saw you there your head was in your phone, in fact my whole childhood you spent looking at your phone. And while we’re on the subject, no I didn’t want my birth live-streamed on Facebook, or my baby photos posted. I just thought you liked taking cute photos of me, instead you were posting my every move with humorous (hipster) captions on the your page.

Please take them down NOW!

‘All the while you griped about the baby boomers destroying your life, it appears your misery was all their fault. I found this strange because wherever I’ve had contact with a baby boomer, and by now they’re pretty old these dudes, they were cheerful and had plenty of millennial jokes to share around.

‘How many millennials does it take to change a light bulb? None, they’re too scared to offend the lightbulb.’ That’s my favourite. These baby boomers had worked hard, grown up in a time when they were expected to save for all life's luxuries. Our house was full of furniture, big screen TVs, computers etc all bought on no deposit and two years to pay. If I remember rightly some of those items weren’t paid for and you had a visit from a debt collector more than once. You know, you millennials just wanted too much and couldn’t take responsibility for your failures.’